Proverbs 13:10
Only by Pride
1. Here is yet another contrast of opposites… although exactly WHAT is being contrasted is not clear at first glance.
2. There is no obvious contrast as in many other proverbs, such as between the wise and the foolish; the wicked and righteous; or the lazy and the diligent.
• Those contrasts are clearly opposite one another.
• The contrasts made in this verse are not so clear at first… until one begins to think…
3. Here Solomon makes the following contrasts:
• Between pride and good advice… (they are opposites)
• Between contention and wisdom…(they too are opposites)
1. Contention:
a. This term is used only 3 times in the Bible, and is translated by 3 different English words: contention; strife; debate;
b. Unfortunately, the concept is only too familiar to all of us. We have all had our share of contentions and arguments in life.
c. We have experienced contention in various settings too:
• in our homes… with our spouses… with our parents… with our children…
• in our school… with other students… with teachers… on the bus… in the cafeteria… during recess… gym…
• in our workplaces: with our co-workers; with our boss; with our employees;
• in the local church: with other believers; with a Sunday school teacher; with the leaders; Awana worker; youth leader; in the choir; at a board meeting; perhaps with me. 🙁
d. Contention is a problem we all have to deal with because we live in a world full of sinners; there is no escaping contention…
e. Paul said, “As much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” His very statement implies that there are times when it is NOT possible to live peaceably. It takes two.
f. The most peace loving people on earth are going to be confronted with contention at one time or another. Try as you may, it’s inescapable.
2. Contention is like a plague or a disease that is constantly spreading from one place to another… like a cancer.
a. Scientists know that the best way to prevent a disease is to discover how it starts… what causes it to arise…
b. Sometimes when the cause is discovered, prevention becomes relatively easy.
c. For example, when it was discovered that many diseases were spread by contact of hands… washing hands resulted in far fewer incidents of the spread of deadly diseases!
d. A simple, very doable preventative measure can result in avoiding something potentially dangerous and deadly.
e. In this proverb, Solomon tells us HOW contentions arise… through pride!
f. The obvious REASON for telling us this is so that we might PREVENT the disease from arising… so that we might either prevent altogether… or at least greatly reduce the amount of contention in our lives.
g. With just a simple washing of our hands, we can prevent a near fatal disease.
h. With just a simple washing of our attitudes, we can prevent a near fatal contention in our homes… or local church… or workplace… or school…
3. The Bible commands us to AVOID contention and strife. They are unhealthy…
a. As much as lieth in you… live peaceably with all men. (And quite a bit lieth in us as Christians… Christ is in you… the Holy Spirit is in you!)
b. Prov. 25:8 – “Go not hastily to strive.”
• Some folks seem gravitated towards strife and contention… always looking for a good fight.
• Solomon warns us NOT to be hasty in getting involved in strife.
• You could end up in a situation where you don’t know what to do… how to get out of it… how to END the strife…
• Prov. 17:14 – it is like the letting out of water.
1. Imagine a dam with a little crack.
2. Imagine taking your finger and poking that little crack… so that water begins a tiny trickle out
3. Imagine that tiny crack expanding and expanding as the water washes away weak cement
4. Imagine this going on for some time… until that tiny crack widens and the dam begins to break…
5. There comes a point of no return… when the flow of water becomes uncontrollable.
6. That is the illustration Solomon uses of contention. It begins like flowing water… easily controlled at first… but, if meddled with, can quickly develop into that which is unable to be controlled.
b. Prov. 20:3 – It is an honor to avoid contention. But fools will love to meddle… to play in the dirt… to find things to fight about.
c. The kind of strife and contention Solomon describes in this passage is like a disease… to be avoided… rejected… not to meddle with it…
d. Fools love to meddle in strife and stir things up; wise men avoid it.
4. Pride results in contention…
a. Pride: pride; presumptuousness; arrogance.
b. In a sense, pride is at the root of all sin. It was pride in Lucifer that resulted in his fall… and proud arrogance on the part of Adam in the Garden that resulted in their fall… to exalt self… to be like God…
c. Solomon warns us that pride results in contention…
• The KJV seems to indicate that at the root of all contention is pride in one form or another.
• However, the word “only” can be attached to either the word pride OR the word contention.
• KJV connects it with pride and it has one meaning.
• If it is connected with the word contention, then Solomon is saying that pride results in nothing but contention. It never results in peace… only contention.
d. There is more than one cause for contention according to the following passages:
• I Cor. 3:3 – For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions??, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?
• Prov. 10:12 – Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.
• Prov. 15:18 – A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.
• Prov. 16:28 – ?A froward man soweth? strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends. (An evil spirit)
• Prov. 26:21 – As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.? (a contentious spirit)
• These verses- might cause us to lean in the direction of placing the ONLY with the word contention… or understanding that pride is really at the root of the following list of sinful roots of strife.
5. Hence, we are told by Solomon exactly what it is that leads to fighting… arguing… contention… and strife.
a. Since we are told to avoid contention, we should also avoid that which LEADS to it…
b. In Prov. 13:10, it is pride or arrogance that leads to contention.
c. Therefore, wash your hands of pride… take it to the cross and leave it… pride, arrogance, self exaltation… take it all to the cross… and the strife will cease…
d. Phil.2:3 – Christlikeness demands this: let NOTHING be done through strife or vainglory.
1. The contrast: contention is listed as the opposite of wisdom.
a. In other words, it is WISE to avoid contention…
b. It is folly to pursue contention.
c. The wise man will follow the advice in this proverb and avoid contention.
d. Fighting is stupid… foolish… not helpful… it destroys homes, churches, relationships, etc.
2. The second contrast: between a proud man and one who is well advised.
a. At first it’s hard to see the relationship…
b. However, think of this pride as a proud arrogance…
• Here is a man who thinks he knows it all…
• He thinks his way is always right…
• He thinks his opinions are always right… and everyone else’s opinions are worthless…
• He’s the man who will not listen to anyone. He won’t take advice. He is close-minded. There is no talking to him.
• This kind of pride always results in contention.
c. The OPPOSITE of this kind of proud, arrogant man is the man who is well advised.
d. Well advised: to advise; consult; give counsel.
• This man is one who takes advice; listens to counsel; consults with others…
• He is not a proud arrogant know it all.
• He is a humble man who knows he needs advice and counsel… and he takes it in… weighs it… and responds in a right way to it.
• Prov. 15:22 – Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.
• Prov. 24:6 – For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellors there is safety.
• An arrogant man would not seek counsel… he wants to do it his way.
• A proud man would not consult with others to try to understand their view. He thinks his view is always right.
• Hence, the proud man sets himself up for contention… (with those who know better)
• But with the humble man, who SEEKS COUNSEL and is thus well advised … with this humble man is WISDOM.
• Arrogant pride leads to contention. Humble seeking after counsel results in wisdom.
• Prov. 12:15 – The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise.
• This is the man who will prevent contentions… by his humble spirit that is willing to recognize that he is not always right… and by a spirit of being willing to hear good advice and heed it…
• Wouldn’t that kind of a spirit transform your home? This church? Your office? Your ministry? Be willing to listen to people… listen to their side… listen to their views… their opinions… weigh them thoughtfully… take advice and be well advised.
• Who knows? It might bring peace… and prevent contention. That good result is worth the little extra involved… a simple thing like washing one’s hands can prevent deadly disease. A simple thing like humbling self and listening to others can prevent deadly contentions… and bring real peace!