Her Husband

1. This section is actually about the wife, but her husband does receive honorable mention several times.

a. Here we are told that he trusts his virtuous wife.

b. Vs. 12 – The virtuous woman (wife) does this man good. (He is the recipient of her goodness.)

c. Vs. 23 – He is known in the gates. Evidently, he is an important leader in the city. The gates are where the city business was conducted.

d. Vs. 28 – He praises his wife.

2. His heart is mentioned. He trusts his wife in his “heart.”

a. This speaks of the depth of the trust.

b. It is a trust that has sunk deeply into his heart. It is a deep rooted trust.

c. The Hebrew word for “heart” has a broad range of meaning and implications – as does the English word “heart.”
i. In a figurative sense, we usually think of the heart as the seat of emotions – and it does include the emotions.
1. I Sam. 24:5 – “And it came to pass afterward, that David’s heart smote him, because he had cut off Saul’s skirt.” David felt sorrow and guilt in his heart.

ii. But the term also includes the mind.
1. Gen. 6:5 – “And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” Thinking occurs in the heart.
2. Neh.6:8 – “Then I sent unto him, saying, There are no such things done as thou sayest, but thou feignest them out of thine own heart.” Here, the heart seems to speak of the mind and imagination.

iii. The “heart” also includes the will.
1. Ex. 35:5 – “Take ye from among you an offering unto the LORD: whosoever is of a willing heart, let him bring it, an offering of the LORD.”

iv. It might be understood in the sense of the whole inner man… the inner self life… intellect, emotion, and will.

d. The heart is also the center for the concept of “trust.”
i. James 2:19 – For example, many people believe God intellectually – in their head.
1. The demons believe God at that level.
2. But trusting God intellectually only falls far short of saving faith.
3. Faith that is based on facts only can be very clinical and dead.
4. You might liken it to the kind of trust that is the result of putting hundreds of pieces of data into a computer and reading the statistics to determine whether a machine is reliable or not. That kind of trust may be relatively accurate about reliability, but it is not personal.
5. It is a superficial kind of trust. There is no depth.

ii. The concept of trust can also be attributed to emotions.
1. And while this might give a person an inward sense of security, it is not necessarily reliable.
2. Everyone who boards an airplane has a certain level of trust in that machine. Many people FEEL perfectly safe.
3. But the fact is that once in a great while, even though the people trusted in the plane—planes do malfunction and crash.
4. An emotional trust can be wrong – misguided… superficial and not based on facts and truth.

iii. Rom. 10:10 states that “with the heart man believeth unto righteousness.”
1. Faith (to be saving) includes the entire HEART of a man – intellect, emotions, and will.
2. That makes it deep and personal.
3. This includes the correct facts of the gospel; an emotional or inner assent to those facts; and the will is engaged. It is a CHOICE to receive Christ.

e. This might seem like we are getting off subject here, but we mention this to demonstrate the KIND of trust this man had in his wife.
i. His trust in his wife, his confidence in her was deep.
ii. It came from the heart – meaning the entire inner man.
iii. It included his intellect, emotions, and his will.
iv. His trust in his wife was whole… complete… mature… full grown… ripe… entire and lacking nothing.
v. His heart trusted her. He trusted her with his whole heart.
vi. His confidence in her was wholehearted trust: it was sincere… genuine.

3. Intellectually he trusted in her.

a. Intellectually, over the years, his mind had stored many FACTS about her that caused him to trust in her.

b. This kind of trust could even be likened to scientific law – the result of scientific observation. It is a bit clinical, but gives a pretty accurate reading. Drop an apple 10,000 times and if it falls DOWN every time, you have a scientific law on your hands.

c. This man probably put this young lady to the test while he courted her and she passed the test.

d. Now they are married with children and have lived together for many years – every day of life together (observing the relationship and one another) gives more objective facts: she has been trustworthy all these years!

e. He has listened to her speech over the years and has observed that she always tells the truth. She has never lied to him. She doesn’t stretch the truth. Her word is like gold.

f. Vs. 15 – He has observed her work ethic over the years. If she has a job to do, she does it. He doesn’t have to worry about whether the job gets done or not. Even if she has to get up before the sun to finish the task, she does it.

g. He trusts her fully because he has observed her trustworthiness over many years. He can trust in her as much as he can trust in gravity. They have both been intellectually PROVEN to him.

h. His intellect is full of facts that confirm her reliability.

4. He trusts in her emotionally.

a. Trust and confidence require the correct facts. Faith RESTS upon facts. His faith in his wife rests upon intellectual facts too.

b. But, for faith to be deep, it requires the assent of the emotions. (A man might intellectually believe all the facts of the gospel, and have no heart attachment to it… refuse to assent to those facts inwardly.)

c. This man’s emotions have been stirred by his wife’s trustworthiness and his heart therefore has become ATTACHED to her and her faithfulness.

d. He trusts in her with his whole heart. This is much deeper than mere clinical facts—as reliable as those facts may be.

e. This man trusts in his virtuous wife in his head AND in his heart.

5. He trusts in her volitionally.

a. Faith and trust also include the will. It is a choice.

b. So too with the gospel. The head might intellectually believe the facts of the gospel. The heart might be stirred emotionally by the message, but unless a man CHOOSES to receive Christ personally, he is completely lost.

c. This man’s trust in his wife was also ACTED upon.

d. The fact that he (as head of the household) put her in charge of important duties indicates that he acted upon his confidence in her.

e. Vs. 16 – She was trusted with the family money to buy a field.

f. Vs. 20 – She was trusted with the family money to use that money prudently in giving to the poor.

g. He didn’t say, “I trust you with the money, but I’ll do it myself or find someone else to make the big purchases.”

h. Her husband trusted her fully and that trust and confidence was translated into action.

i. He made decisions based on his absolute trust and confidence in his wife.

He safely trusted in her…

1. BECAUSE he trusted in her fully, the relationship was characterized by “safety.”

a. Safety: The feeling or experience of safety and security; a sense of well being.

b. Because of this sense of confidence and well being, he did not have to live in fear.

c. Usage of “safety.”
i. Ps. 112:7 – “He shall not be afraid of evil tidings: his heart is fixed, trusting in the LORD.”
1. When we trust in the Lord, there is no need to fear.
2. What can man do to us if God is on our side?
3. If God be for us, who shall be against us?
4. A husband who fully trusts his wife doesn’t have to fear. He doesn’t have to live in anxiety wondering whether she has been faithful to him. He has no fear that she will embarrass him with her speech or behavior. He doesn’t live in fear wondering whether she is up to no good… secretly spending money behind his back, etc.
5. Trust removes fear and anxiety.
6. I couldn’t imagine living in a relationship when you can’t trust your wife. Thank God for trustworthy wives!

ii. Isa. 26:3 – “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.”
1. The word translated “trusteth” here is the same word translated “safely trusts” in Prov. 31:11.
2. When a person trusts in God, he experiences perfect peace.
3. Perfect peace is because of this kind of confident trust…
4. Who wouldn’t want “perfect peace” in a marriage? Well the Bible tells us HOW perfect peace is achieved: through total confidence in another!
5. Therefore BE trustworthy beyond reproach—even in the little things.

iii. Isa. 32:17 – “And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever.”
1. The word “assurance” here is the same word as “safely trusts” in Prov. 31:11.
2. Isaiah teaches us that in the Kingdom, things will be done justly and righteously. The result of knowing that things will be done right is quietness and assurance.
3. Again, who wouldn’t want quietness and assurance in their home?
4. Then do things RIGHT consistently so that your partner can have absolute confidence in you.

d. In any husband/wife relationship, TRUST is essential!
i. It results in a sense of safety and well being.
ii. It removes fear and anxiety.
iii. It brings perfect peace to a relationship.
iv. It brings blessed quietness and assurance and safety into the home.
v. Without trust, the relationship is characterized by “rottenness of the bones.”

2. Trust is the FOUNDATION of any relationship – between God and the believer OR husband and wife.

a. When the trust is eroded, the relationship is on very shaky ground. The foundation is cracked and needs to be repaired right away before something worse happens.

b. The virtuous woman earned the confidence of her husband.

c. And over time, that confidence only grew deeper, stronger, and wider.

d. A husband/wife relationship should strengthen over time.

e. One of the quickest ways to destroy a relationship is to prove yourself to be a liar… a cheat… unreliable… sneaky… sly… undependable… erratic… unpredictable… untruthful…

f. One of the best things you can do for your relationship is to keep on building up that confidence and trust.

g. When that foundation is deep and strong—no outward circumstances or storms of life will be able to undermine it.

h. The virtuous woman never gave her husband the least occasion to suspect her of evil or to distrust her in any way.

3. The husband in Proverbs 31:11 doth “safely trust in her.” Those are extremely powerful words.