Proverbs 31:12

She will Do Him Good

Introduction:

1. This last section of Proverbs deals with the virtuous woman.

2. We noted that the word translated “virtuous” primarily means strong.

3. She is a strong woman—morally and spiritually. She is strong in her work ethic, strong in her family ties, and tonight we want to see that she is strong in her support for her husband and strong in her sense of commitment.

12a She will do him good…

1. Gen. 2:18 – This was the purpose God made the woman and brought her unto the man—that she might be a helpmeet to him.

a. A help-meet is a helper that is meet, fitting, or suitable to man.

b. God brought all the animals before Adam but there was nothing in the animal kingdom that corresponded to Adam; none corresponded to him or were suitable to him.

c. Sorry dog lovers, but there could never be any spiritual fellowship with an animal.

d. But God made woman – a creature made in the image of God as Adam was made.

e. The woman corresponded to man because they both had intellect, emotion, will, and a conscience… body, soul, and spirit.

f. They are perfectly suited for one another.

g. Woman is man’s helper. (helpmeet)
• The Hebrew word means helper, one who assists and serves; one who supplies what is needed; one who supplies needed strength and ability to accomplish a task.
• In several passages, God refers to Himself the “helper” (helpmeet) of Israel.
• This has been God’s design from the beginning – even before sin entered the world in Genesis three.
• Gen. 1:26 – They were created as co-regents to have dominion TOGETHER over the world. They were a team – like a king and queen with dominion over the whole earth.
• The concept of being a “helper” to man was NOT part of the curse.
• Women might think of it so today, but that is not the case.
• It was part of God’s original, perfect design for man and woman (husband and wife) before sin entered the world.

2. The virtuous woman “does him good.”

a. This corresponds to God’s original purpose for marriage.

b. She does him good in the sense of doing good things… helpful things… meeting needs…

c. The Hebrew term good has a very broad meaning – like the English word for “good.”

d. Incorporated in the Hebrew term is the concepts of “correct, proper, gracious, joyful, kind, pleasant, pleasure, well pleasing, precious, prosperity, sweet, welfare, profitable, well favored, etc.”

e. The virtuous woman is all of that to her husband.

f. This is what she DOES.
• The verb translated “do” in our passage is a little more restricted in meaning than our English word “do.”
• It implies “dealing out something,” or “dealing bountifully” with someone.
• I Sam. 24:17 – “And he said to David, Thou art more righteous than I: for thou hast rewarded me good, whereas I have rewarded thee evil.”
» This is the very same expression as “do good” in Proverbs.
» Note that the word “do” is translated “rewarded.”
» Notice another related principle in this passage: good is to be done to others (husbands) even if they don’t deserve it – even if they are not returning the kindness… even if they are doing evil.
» Rom. 12:17 – This is godliness: “recompense no man evil for evil.” (see also I Thess. 5:15)
» This is especially to be the case in marriage.
» I Sam. 25:18-27 – Abigail was such a virtuous woman – who bestowed good on her husband even when he did not deserve it. Her husband was a fool, and Abigail did her best to prevent disaster for him.

• Isa. 63:7 – “I will mention the lovingkindnesses of the LORD, and the praises of the LORD, according to all that the LORD hath bestowed on us, and the great goodness toward the house of Israel, which he hath bestowed on them according to his mercies, and according to the multitude of his lovingkindnesses.”
» Here the term translated “do” is translated “bestow.”
» The subject here is God bestowing blessings on His people.
» In Proverbs, the virtuous woman is manifesting godliness. Her behavior is like that of God – bestowing good on others, namely, her husband.

• Psalm 13:6 – “I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.”
» Again, this is godly behavior for God Himself “does good” (dealt out) a bounty to others.

3. The virtuous woman bestows good towards her husband in many ways.

a. She is his encourager when he’s down in the dumps and discouraged.

b. She is his comforter when he’s feeling blue.

c. She is his assistant and extra pair of eyes, arms, and legs.

d. She is his supporter and cheerleader.

e. She is his keeper at home… and decorator in chief.

f. She is his mild rebuke and restrainer… like Abigail… when the husband behaves like Nabal.

g. She is his faithful companion and lover and his heart doth safely trust in her.

h. She is his counselor who sees the world through a different set of eyes (a woman’s eyes) and adds a whole new dimension to his life.

i. The list is endless. She does him good in countless ways.

j. She seeks to be pleasing to him. That’s how Paul defines a wife: “she that is married careth for the things of the world (earth), that she may please her husband.” She does him good and that is well pleasing.

12b And not evil…

1. The virtuous woman “does him good” which is a description of her godliness.

a. Some might think this is like being a doormat.

b. The Bible says it is being like God Himself – a helper… a bestower of good even to the undeserving… one who deals bountifully with His people… a rewarder with good.

c. The virtuous woman is a godly woman.

d. She bestows grace, kindness, joy, prosperity, pleasantness, pleasure, and goodness to him.

e. The rest of the chapter deals with the many good DEEDS she does as a helper to her husband and family.

f. The author gives us a long list of the good things she does for him and her family; we will consider the particulars later.

2. She does NOT do him “evil.”

a. This term for evil is much broader in meaning than our English word. It is not confined to that which is immoral or wicked.

b. It is obviously used in contrast to the “good” and thus implies all kinds of bad things.

c. The word for evil includes the concepts of calamity, disaster, distress, misery, injury, etc.

d. A strong, virtuous woman is the source of good things (grace, joy, pleasure, prosperity) and not the source of bad things – like trouble and misery.

e. The book of Proverbs speaks of some of the ways in which a woman can do “evil” (make misery) for her husband.
• Prov. 12:4 – “She that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” A woman who is not virtuous can bring shame to her husband… which produces calamity and misery for him, here described as “rottenness in his bones.” That is deep, deep rottenness.
• Prov. 21:19 – “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”
» Instead of doing good and being the source of joy and pleasure, a woman can be the source of contention and anger in the home.
» That is certainly not a virtuous woman.

• Prov. 27:15 – “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”
» This contentious woman is like a continual dropping.
» She keeps on bringing up old issues and never lets things die. She is a nag.
» This is a miserable way to live. It utterly destroys the sweet and pleasant atmosphere a home should have.
» This woman is not the bestower of good to her husband… but evil.

3. The Bible gives us examples of wives who bestowed evil upon their husbands.

a. Eve tempted Adam.

b. Jezebel influenced Ahab into committing murder, lying, and worshipping Baal.

c. Solomon’s wives drew his heart away from God.

d. Job’s wife encouraged him to curse God and die.

e. Not all wives do their husbands good; some do them evil.

12c All the days of her life.

1. Here we see the virtuous woman’s dedication.

a. Her dedication to her husband is life-long – till death do us part.

b. Her dedication is not just to remain married to him, but she is dedicated to being a “helpmeet” for him and to do him GOOD for the rest of her life.

c. She does him good in season and out of season… in the early days of marriage and on into the “golden years.”

2. It is a lifelong commitment.

a. “All the days of her life” includes the good days and the bad days – for better or for worse… and there will be plenty of both.

b. It includes the days of sickness and health.

c. It includes the days of plenty and days of poverty – for richer or for poorer.

d. It includes the days of sunshine as well as the stormy days.

e. This woman is virtuous; and she is faithful.

f. Note that it says that she WILL do; not that she might do if she feels like it; or if he has been good; or if she gets her way.

g. This is part of the life-long commitment that a woman makes to her husband before God when she gets married.

h. If you are not ready and willing to enter into this kind of lifelong commitment, then don’t get married.

3. This woman was virtuous: a bestower of good and dedicated to fulfilling her God given purpose as a helpmeet – doing him good all the days of her life.