Proverbs 5:18-21

Rejoice with the Wife of Thy Youth


1. Solomon has been warning his son against the sin of sexual immorality.

a. He warns against the strange woman—harlot (vs. 3-4)

b. He tells his son to stay away from the evil woman (vs. 8)

c. He warns of the consequences of failing to do so (vs. 9-14)

2. In the last half of this chapter, he tells his son HOW to remain pure in this area.

a. Be faithful to your own wife—don’t go to someone else’s wife… drink out of your own cistern. (vs. 15-17)

b. Be satisfied with your own wife. (vs. 18-21)

18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

1. In the previous section, Solomon had just warned his son to be faithful to his own wife. He reiterates that in different language in vs. 18.

2. Let thy fountain be blessed…

a. His fountain refers back to vs. 15 – his wife is his source of water—his cistern… his well of running water.

b. Solomon says, let your own well be blessed… Your wife IS a blessing. Let her be a blessing to you physically too.

c. Your OWN wife ought to be the source of your happiness or blessedness. Don’t go looking elsewhere to find “happiness.”

3. Rejoice with the wife of thy youth…

a. Don’t go to another man’s wife to find happiness or joy. Find it with your own wife!

b. Learn to rejoice with your wife…

c. God has designed the wife to be a source of blessing and joy to her husband—and vice versa. (Ecc. 9:9)

d. It was not good that man should be alone, so God made him a helpmeet.
• It was not good because man is a social creature and needs the fellowship…
• It was not good because man has a physical need too that could only be filled by a woman…
• So God created marriage… to be a source of blessing and joy.
• Solomon warns his son NOT to look outside of marriage to find this blessedness or joy. Rejoice with your own wife!

4. Solomon seems to imply here that a lack of happiness of joy could LEAD to immorality.

a. Too often a partner in marriage becomes unhappy… discouraged… disappointed… down… depressed… and in need of a lift… in need of some happiness and joy… (A vulnerable position!)

b. Along comes what appears to be someone who makes you feel good… they flatter you… make you feel happy again… takes away the blues… you feel uplifted… just what you needed… Watch out!!!

c. We are so FEELINGS oriented… but we shouldn’t be. We are to live our lives by FAITH that rests upon the FACTS of God’s Word… not by how we feel!

d. Solomon warns his son to find his joy with his own wife!

e. WORK at being happy with your own spouse…

f. And if your spouse is not cooperating… then remind yourself that you DIED with Christ…

g. Remind yourself that your main purpose in life is NOT being happy but being faithful to God—which means being faithful to your spouse.

h. God expects us to be faithful to our spouse regardless of HOW we feel!

i. If we DO what is right, in time, we will FEEL joy and contentment in the fact that we are obedient…

j. Thus, if we know that unhappiness in a marriage leads to immorality, we ought to work at being happy with our spouse! AND do all you can to make your spouse happy and joyous in the relationship…

k. Rejoice with the wife of thy youth!

5. Note also that Solomon did not say to rejoice with the WIVES of your youth, but with your wife—singular!

19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

1. Here Solomon gives his cure for a young man being captivated by the strange woman—be captivated by your wife!

2. Let her be as a loving hind and a pleasant roe…

a. This is language similar to that used in Song of Sol. 2:9,17.

b. Obviously, this was flattering language… in an agricultural society it was considered flattering to be compared to beautiful, graceful animals like a deer.

c. I wouldn’t recommend that any men here compare their wives to any sort of animal today—it won’t go over nearly as well today!

d. BUT—compliment her!

3. Solomon then tells his son to be satisfied with his wife and to be ravished in her love.

a. Satisfied – if a man is satisfied with his wife, there is no need to look elsewhere!
• Drink from your own cistern and satisfy your thirst—and then you won’t be tempted to drink from another man’s cistern.
• Satisfied = to be satiated or saturated, have or drink to one’s fill; to be drunk or intoxicated…
• Marriage should be physically satisfying—for both partners.
• It should be joyous, satisfying, and fulfilling.
• How does a young man avoid being ensnared by the immoral woman? By drinking from his own cistern and to drink to one’s fill = be satiated and saturated!
• The marriage bed is HOLY—be filled with that kind of holiness… and don’t go looking elsewhere. It isn’t holy anywhere else!
• A wise husband who wants to remain pure will drink to the full at his own cistern! His thirst is FULLY satisfied!
• A wise wife will do the same…
• Note that it says, “at all times”…
• One of the quickest ways to drive a spouse to immorality is to “close the well”—if the thirst isn’t satisfied at home, it WILL be elsewhere!
• That’s why Paul says in I Cor. 7:3-6 – that the wife doesn’t have power over her own body—the husband does… and the husband doesn’t have power over his own body either—the wife does!
• Paul also said “defraud ye not one the other” = except it be with consent and for a little time lest ye tempted for your incontinency! (lack of self control)

» The problem is that we usually approach this from the wrong perspective. We expect to BE satisfied… to BE happy…

» However, true fulfillment comes from satisfying your partner!

» Contentment and satisfaction does not come by “receiving” but through “giving.”

» If we selflessly serve others—we will BE satisfied. If we are constantly looking to BE satisfied, we will be empty… because we are approaching the matter in a selfish way.

» Love is about giving… not getting.

» This principle is true in marriage… in the local church… in all kinds of relationships—“It is better to give than to receive.”

» This is true of the physical relationship in marriage—it is true in every other part of marriage — true fulfillment and contentment comes through selflessly serving and pleasing the other…

b. Be ravished in her love…
• Ravished = to err, stray; to swerve, meander, reel, roll, be intoxicated, err (in drunkenness)—here it has the idea of being drawn into something… captivated…
• Solomon tells his son that it’s OK to be enticed or captivated by love—just make sure it is HER love … the wife of thy youth!
• Note also: always! This is a constant part of marriage. Don’t ignore it.
• Don’t be ravished or intoxicated by magazines… or TV… or movies… or videos… or pictures on the Internet… or by flirting at the water cooler… or in any other way…
• Be always ravished in HER love!
• This is Divine wisdom speaking in these verses… God’s method of sexual purity…

20 And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

1. Now Solomon challenges his son to THINK… to think about WHY he would ever want to do such a thing as get involved in immorality.

2. WHY? (vs. 3-4) when you know it ends in bitterness?

3. WHY? (vs. 9) when you know your honor given to others…

4. WHY? (vs. 10) when you know that strangers will be filled with thy wealth?

5. WHY? (vs. 11-12) when you know that it will bring nothing but remorse and mourning later…

6. WHY? When you know that water from your own cistern is just as sweet… and without the guilt, remorse, and loss of honor?

7. WHY be ravished with a strange woman when God has given you your own spouse… to have and to hold and to embrace and to rejoice with… WHY?

8. WHY embrace the bosom of a stranger if (1) you know it ends in bitterness, and (2) your own wife is a source of blessing and joy?

9. Why poison your own fountain? Immorality just doesn’t make sense. It is folly.

21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD, and he pondereth all his goings.

1. WHY be ravished with a strange woman? There are lots of reasons not to. Here’s one more: God is watching!
• God is watching when we are sitting in front of the TV… or a video
• God is watching when we read a magazine… or are on the Internet…

2. If YOU don’t want to watch your own steps—rest assured, God is watching… He is pondering ALL our goings… and our thoughts… and desires…

3. This truth should affect our conscience… and cause us to FEAR sinning against the Lord in this way.

4. Consider the words of Solomon as he ended the book of Ecclesiastes: (12:14) – “For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good or whether it be evil.”

5. That’s why it is a good idea for US to “ponder the path of thy feet” (Prov. 4:26) Pay attention to what you are doing… what direction you are taking… where your feet are leading you… especially in the area of morality.

6. Immorality is a plague in our land today… it is considered acceptable in the world. It is UN-acceptable to God.